pretty words.

11.37pm, 14th of January, 2010.
Listening to: Muse – Undisclosed Desires.

Pretty Words.
You don’t want me, yet you play with me. You hold me up with those pretty words, only to watch me fall again. I’m falling again. I’m falling for you again.

I don’t want you anymore.

But I want you.

I want you to leave me alone.

Why am I crying like this? It feels meaningless. The tears are empty. But, the pain burns as though it’s real. I’m crying over something that never even was.

I try to hold it in. I try to suppress these feelings.

I don’t close my eyes; I try to push back the tears. But, they overflow, anyway. The hot streams run down my face and slide down my neck. Then, the cool breeze blows past and makes the droplets icy cold.

I give up and slump against the wall, unmoving. The silent crying continues.

And I decide for myself. I won’t cry for you a minute longer.

I decide that I will erase you. Erase you from my life. So, I won’t cry. So, I won’t get tempted.

Finally, as I am about to let you go, there you are. You pop back into my life again with an innocent smile. Of course you smile. You don’t know what you’ve done.

So, like the fool I am, I make up a lie about my odd behaviour and my tearstained eyes. And I fall right back into your trap again. I fall again. To those pretty words of yours.

imagecredit: http://novacaine-kills.xanga.com/

Behind the Story

This one is about an unrequited love. The girl speaking has had a troubled past, and therefore cuts herself off from the rest of the world. But there is one person she feels she can open up to.. The boy she thinks she loves constantly flatters her and teases her, but she’s confused of how he truly feels; whether he’s trying to tell her something or if it’s really just another game. She wants to get rid of him, but before she even has the chance to wipe away her tears, he returns. Him, and all her memories of him come flooding back. He is oblivious to how he makes her feel and how she cries over him. He smiles at her, and as helpless as she is, all she can do is play along.

‘I want to reconcile the violence in your heart.
I want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask.
I want to exorcise the demons from your past.
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart.'

She wants desperately to hear these words from his mouth. All she ever hoped for was someone to save her from herself. But, she knows that when she hears them, they will just end up being another lie. A few more pretty words.