blink twice.

2.36pm, 5th of January, 2011.
Listening to: Mike Posner – Please Don’t Go.

Blink Twice.
A glint of sunlight hits my face and dazzles my eyes. A new day has begun, yet I can’t even remember the last 24 hours.

It’s all a distant blur. Flashes of bright lights.. Pounding of bass speakers.. A sea of swaying bodies forever in perpetual motion..

A night that took its toll on me.

The bed is warm. Warmer than the empty coldness that I’m used to.

I rack my memory to figure out what happened when I got home the night before.

Then, a familiar but foreign scent ignites something in me.

A sweet smell, but not sickly so, enraptures me. It’s here, in the room with me. Beside me.

And then it all rushes back. Every touch, every moan, every gasp and every “I love you” flooding back into my head.

Her smooth skin against mine.

Like silk, the pleasure of it brushing over me.

It felt right.

And I don’t even know her name.

All my life, everything has been planned out.

My education, my job, my relationships; everything taken step by step.

That’s just the kind of person I am.

That is, until now.

I’ve always needed my life spread out before me.

I hated surprises.

And, before last night, I would’ve never done anything like this.

Not without questions like, ‘What happens after?’, or ‘Is this a mistake?’

But even so, I don’t feel uncomfortable. I don’t feel lost.

No, for once in my life, I feel at ease.

With myself.

And most importantly, with her.

Even if I don’t know her name, I don’t care.

Even if I was unsure of what would happen in the next few minutes, I was sure that she would feel the same.

So, with this courage flaring up inside me, I reach over across the bed.

And when I pull open the sheet..

All I find was a warm but very bare space, and a note.

Confused, I pick it up and read.

One word was written across the small piece of paper.

‘Thanks.’

And with that one word, I know I’ve screwed up.

But somehow, I still can’t wipe this smile off my face.

I walk out into the day, shielding my eyes from the rising sun’s rays.

I look up. The sky is a hazy orange, like a glass of freshly popped cognac.

An irksome migraine pounds on the side of my skull, reminding me with one throb, two throbs, three, that my body shouldn’t even be up at this ungodly hour.

But lucky for me, nobody else is awake to see me this way.

A thin layer of makeup still remains on my face from the night before.

Traces of eyeliner still smudged in the corner of my eyes..

A dash of my favourite garnet shade lipstick still smeared across my lips..

My hair is tied in a quick bun, just so I don’t look like I’ve been stuck in the eye of a hurricane.

My clothes are messily thrown on in my attempt to hastily sneak out the door, and my feet ache like I’ve just run a marathon in these heels.

Finally I get to rest a while as I dump myself on a seat in the empty subway carriage.

I close my eyes for a little while.

Thinking back to the room I woke up in, and the man I woke up next to, I can’t help but wonder if he’s noticed that I’m gone.

I don’t remember a lot of what went on last night.

The last thing I remember when I was sober is my friends dragging me out to the city after what seemed like weeks of being cooped up inside my room.

“You need a night out. You need to get over him.”

That’s what they told me.

And that’s when it began.

The fragmented pieces of my memory don’t do much for me.

But what I do remember..

A tiny recollection..

Of being loved.

But not just loved.

Appreciated. Cherished. Held close. Really, truly loved.

And isn’t that strange?

To feel something like that from a person whose name I don’t even know?

I remember thinking at one point, lying in his arms, ‘I could get used to this’.

It’s just been so long since I’ve even gotten close to this kind of feeling, and I’m grateful for it.

I suppose that’s why just before I closed the door, I decided to leave that message for him.

‘Thanks.’

Because I really was thankful.

And I’m glad I came out last night.

imagecredit: http://lovetrains.blogspot.com

Behind the Story

This story is told from two perspectives. A guy and a girl who wake up one morning after a drunken night out, without any recollection of what went on. All they remember is a moment of bliss they both shared together. For both of them, it’s a big risk.. Taking a chance on what could’ve ended up as a horrible mistake. But by some miracle, they found something they never knew they could find. A kind of love that had no difficulties. A man who has gone through his life following a never-ending plan and a girl who felt all love was lost. Who would’ve known?

‘Baby, please don't go.
If I wake up tomorrow will you still be here?
I don't know if you feel the way I do,
If you leave I'm gon' find you.
Baby please don't go.’

It’s a new year, which means it’s time to start over. Forget past mistakes and fallen relationships. Begin anew. In this ever changing world, what are the chances that two people can find each other a second time? Fate is one thing, but chance is another. When you find something that you love, don’t let it go. One morning it might disappear; blink twice and it’s gone.