there.

11.45pm, 10th of February, 2011.
Listening to: OneRepublic - Say (All I Need).

There.
I have never been loved.

Not loved in the way I want to have been loved.

Nor have I ever sincerely loved.

I’ve only favoured the idea of being the centre of adoration.

It’s sad, but I crave the attention.

Aspiring to gain love, but never really working to maintain it.

That’s all I could hope to achieve.

So, no, I have never been really loved.

I have never felt the warmth in my heart when the person I love looks at me.

I have never felt the pain in my heart when the person I love looks at another.

I have never felt the butterflies in my stomach or the adrenaline coursing through my veins when our lips meet for the first time.

This love.. is a foreign language to me.

And though I have never truly been in love before,

And I have never even come close to finding it in my life,

I miss it.

I yearn for it.

I’m reaching out for it..

But it’s just beyond my fingertips.

It’s almost like I’ve lost something that I treasured very much.

Maybe, like past lovers, I once shared a heart with somebody; belonged to them.

Could it be that there is an invisible string tied to my soul?

Tugging on my spirit, and trying to bring me closer to that one I’m to be with?

Maybe, it’s just a matter of fate.

Destiny.

Premeditation.

And my very core aches for it.

For it to come as soon as possible.

For it to come and awaken me from my deep slumber within.

To release my locked up emotions.

To free myself up to the opportunity for love.

So now, I’m waiting for that day.

The day that it shows up on my doorstep.

Right there in front of me.

With a smile that sends shivers down my spine.

imagecredit: http://j-town.deviantart.com

Behind the Story

Where is ‘There’? ‘There’ is the ultimate destination. The finality of the journey. The happy ending. It’s the place everybody wants to get to in the end, when everything else has turned to dust, meaningless and faded. ‘There’ is where happiness is at its highest point. ‘There’ is love. Care. Warmth. The story is about the strange feeling of missing something you never had in the first place. A strange sensation of knowing. Knowing without a doubt that there is something more, that is destined to happen. But it’s also about the sadness that comes with it and even more so, the hope.

‘Do you know where your heart is?
Do you think you can find it?
Or did you trade it for something,
Somewhere better just to have it?
Do you know where your love is?
Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong, but
Nothing's turned out how you wanted.’

Though things don’t turn out as they should, nothing can keep true love apart. If you can sense it, no matter how small an inkling it may be, it’ll happen. There’s no such thing as giving up on love, because if it wasn’t worth fighting for, then it wasn’t worth keeping. It was not real love. But if you honestly care for someone, don’t let go, and don’t give in. One day, each one of us will reach that place of pure ecstasy. Someday, we’ll get ‘There’.